faccio cose, vedo gente

friends give good hints. sometimes…

justin: i think you should end you thing with a., it’s not healthy for you

me: maybe you’re right

you’re always right for your friends

angie: so how is lovelife?

me: a mess, as usual

angie: why?

me: i’m with somebody that i don’t feel is feeling something for me… we see each other barely once a week

angie: that’s not good. you should feel that the other wants you, cares for you, needs you… do you feel that?

me: no i don’t, but how do i know that it’s not my fault?

angie: come on, you know it’s not you… here we go, drink this!

breaking up is not easy, especially when there’s nothing to break

me: i don’t think this experience we’re having together is what i’d call a relationship

a.: i understand, we have been doing more the sexual side

me: true, and i don’t think that with the frequency we see each other i feel satisfied… i cannot guarantee that this will be exclusive

a.: you mean seeing somebody else?

me: well i can’t say that this exclusive so yeah, that’s a possibility

a.: you’re the one that talked about being exclusive, and that’s what i did

me: oh, i’m sorry if i tend to be too affectionate and… old fashioned

a.: the problem is not me understanding you, the problem is you understanding me. you probably don’t understand how much i did for you in the past

me: well i think i to, it’s just not enough for me

a.: no i don’t think you do… we had this conversation already many times… it’s just… frustrating

friends never regret your actions

anna: are you still seeing…?

me: well, i actually dumped a. yesterday

me: but i feel bad for that

anna: oh dear

me: i shouldn’t have been so tough

anna: how did you do it?

me: well i told a. that what we were having was not a relationship

anna: well, if it was how you felt

me: that’s true, i wasn’t satisfied

anna: well that’s ok then

anna: did a. take it badly?

me: but a. told me that i might be the one that talks obsessively about relationships

anna: in what way?

me: well, a. is quite cold, and i think it got worse after that

anna: well, don’t worry too much…

anna: it was obviously the right thing to do!

me: maybe

charles dutoit conducts le martyre de saint sebastien while my fingers are writing what my minds thinks right now for the time number one million and one without an answer again. i think i’m in a loop. the sounds is unstable and notes are like small, invisible thorns that eclipse your sight but you can definitely feel them sharp. i feel that what i feel should be what i am, but more often i am what i think. i shouldn’t think, feelings talk for me. can i make warmer around myself thinking that the cold does not exist? if i only had that magic power

then violins and trombones bring me, for a second again, in my lost paradise. i’ll be back, sometime, it’s oustanding

Technorati Tags: lang:en, Personal

quite funny: capital one credit card: a fat, clumsy guardian angel is not very good in its task, unless it’s a matter of money… unfortunately i wasn’t able to find it! maybe sometimes it’ll be available here

also the sierra mist one is funny

lame: geico auto insurance: their website is so easy that also caveman could use it. Two cavemen still alive don’t like the assertion and protest lively. the stupidest thing i’ve seen in a long time

Technorati Tags: Humor, Usa

The other day I decided to call the Italian Embassy in Los Angeles: political elections in Italy are coming and I was interested on how to vote. Briefly, I can’t. Less briefly: the whole story.

When you call a number with an automatic responder (the registered messages that dispatch incoming calls to the proper destination) you usually expect to press a number between 0 and 9 for each command. Every human being is expected to know the first ten numbers. But in Italy they challenge you!

I call the embassy’s number, and a registered voice tells me (in italian) to press 1 for italian. Press 1: beeeeep!. Now a female registered voice (what’s with the gender?) tells me (in english) to press 1 for italian. Oh, nice. Press 1: beeeeep!. Now a third voice (sorry, don’t remember the gender) gives me a few options: press 204 if you wanna talk to the office that does this, 307 for the office that does that, 132 for the office that does this other, and so on: in a few words, a crossword puzzle.

After 5 minutes and an incredible series of different possible tasks for which people could call the italian embassy (in the future you might be able to call for how to prepare authentic pizza dough) I believe to hear something that might be just close to what I need, so I press the associated 3-digits number. But on the other side nobody answer, so I’m redirected to another automated voice that tells me to try again or press 0 for assistance.

Press 0: beeeeep!. This probably brings me to the hell of the embassy, where lost people get punished for the wrong sequence of telephone tones. I explaining the situation and before i finish this unpleasant guy starts saying: no, no, mi dispiace, non si può fare (no, no, I’m sorry, we can’t do that). Apparently there’s nothing I can do: I need to be registered in a so very important register which takes forever to be accessed so maybe for the next round of political elections I might be able to vote, for sure not the upcoming ones. But…

…there’s a but. He is not so sure. There might be a chance. He just doesn’t know -for sure-. But his colleague might. Give it a try! So I have just to wait a redirection towards another office. The phone starts ringing again. I’m almost there. I can feel somebody is close to pick up. But no. Something happens. The communication gets broken. Disconnected.

Morale: Italy exports itself very well

Technorati Tags: Humor, Italy

walking away from my computer, yesterday night, turning off the dvd player after the movie, as accidentally happens when you turn your gaze away in another direction, and you see a completely unexpected panorama, yesterday night, in the dark of the lights turning off, moving away from my desk, not yet with my hand on the handle, in that three-feet-limbo that divides desk and door - computer on desk - my body feeling for the first time a secure unpleasant sensation of coldness - ice cubes floating in my blood - looking down to the red stain on my brown slippers, melting my step over the line of time, moving slow - so slow that night could have turned bright again - and soft, yesterday night, my hair in an unfriendly disorder, holding some sleep, viewing the day that just passed - the lush shower, the missed contact, the pictographic impressions of soft white skin turning bloody, the pages of literature, the soul melting into another, closer, the screen turning black in forever, the stillness - still, still, still - blocked and trapped - still, still - stopped and not willing to change - not strongly, no, not really willing of moving away, just thinking of it - yesterday night (but they’d say last night) i realized and completely felt and got worried - with a subtle thrilling shiver - just yesterday, that the wood of my toughts it’s on fire

and there’s nothing i can do about it

.:wednesday

interview with berlitz; we can’t hire you unless you have a working visa. Nobody sees a loop? I do.

.:thursday: interview with microsoft

why do you want to be a program manager?

i don’t want to be a program manager

i just wanna earn some money and a working visa

i really like the creative role of program managers in the process of building an application; team-working and reasoning on a high, abstract level is exactly what i do every day

i really love microsoft and i even think that bill gates is sexy and you, interviewer, well, you’re not bad as well

you have to move all people from the redmond building to a new building, how do you do that?

can’t they walk?

what do you mean exactly?

i’m sorry, i know it’s an hard question

i rather think it’s an absurd one

what i mean is, how do you build the new building?

i call an architect and an engineer?

i take some bricks and some cement, i wear jeans and a paper hat and ready to go!

i’ll probably starting by subdividing the problem in smaller parts; building different small sites instead of a single one, exploring the defects of the previous building, insure that all people are provided with a good amount of facilities, like toilets

how many toilets per how many person? how do you come out with some number

that’s a very nice question, i can see my future built on toilets

next question?

calculating an average of five minutes per person every day and let’s say we take 100 people, in a nine to five slot it’s about five hundred minutes so it’s nearly one toilet but then we want to avoid conflicts and we also have to provide toilets for both genders i’d say four toilets it’s a good optimization

i really like microsoft and i’d love to be the personal toilet of bill gates and you, interviewer, oh god it’s disgusting!

how do you find two identical substrings inside a string?

bleah

i’m sure there’s some library that does that

i think i’d use two cursors, one to scan a portion of the string and the other one to check if that portion appears two times inside the string

i really like microsoft, but i expect a relationship with no strings

i think i asked you all i wanted to know

thank you very much, it was a pleasure talking to you and hopefully i’ll see you soon

you creepy engineer if i see you again i’m gonna vomit, your accent freaks me out more than mine i think i’ll go to the toilet thanks for the hint

.:friday

very lame day. lunch with justin. visited an apartment: too far from the shuttle. i receive three messages from three people i was trying to forget: two direct and one indirect. bought a cd container. gym. watched “the graduate” by myself: waiting for people is usually not worth it

.:saturday

very lame day. no reading. no movies. no nothing except looking at my mac with an interrogative but lost glance. no goth party: just a card tournament with my roommate

.:sunday

very lame day. i’m getting ready to go to a concert when i decide that i lost my wallet. i decide it, because the wallet is in my car and i just forget it. i call every place i’ve been in the past two days. i miss the concert. i check the car two times, but i don’t open the glove compartment. smart. after two hours i realize how schmuck i am. dinner with emily. coffe with emily. and here i am. bye everybody